I am completely incapable of watching a movie like a normal person. Years of learning structure and writing scripts in the hope of becoming the next William Goldman have distorted my brain into an analytical, critical mess, completely unable to switch off the deconstruction of even the most banal flick.
Continually, my eye catches the clock on the DVD player, timing the beats, identifying the Act changes and turning points and mentally pinning plot beats on little cards to the corkboard in my mind. "Six minutes in, that piece of dialogue must be a statement of the movie's theme." "Twenty minutes in, the major turning point signals the end of Act One." "Twenty five minutes in; here comes the love interest," etc, etc. Each minute equates to a hypothetical page of script, gradually rebuilding a mental version of the screenplay and analysing it from all angles.
Almost any film can be broken down in this way, matching beat-for-beat the structure, timings and plot developments used by screenwriters ever since the first lens cap was taken off in Hollywood. In fact, almost all successful films can be fitted within Blake Snyder's simple 15 point beat sheet from his book Save the Cat. But, for 99.9% of the audience, the structure is invisible; mere scaffolding beneath the outer walls. To those of us who work with and understand scaffolding though, we can spot the signs as clearly as if a subtitle had just popped up shouting "This action scene is the mid-point reverse - you're half way through Act Two".
This analytical nature means that every movie watched is a lesson in writing. I can't help but focus on how the script was put together. Yes, I have found myself distracted from what is happening within a scene as I try to guess how a particular moment was worded on the page. I miss dialogue, fretting over whether a stylistic device owes more to the screenwriter or the director taking artistic license.
Yes, it's sad. It can mean I sometimes don't enjoy a film as much as I would like. I can certainly still tell a good film from a bad one - I know what I like - but I sometimes miss the totally immersive nature of a good film. Even in the cinema, I catch myself glancing at my watch; not because the film is boring, but just to confirm my suspicions as to where the beats fit within the structure. I just can't switch my brain off and constantly seem to have one piece of grey matter on the story and one piece on the writing.
Next month, I'll be trapped with a roomful of similar film structure addicts for three days for Robert McKee's Story seminar weekend (find out more). In that room, there is no such thing as padding, there is no such thing as a plotless film or a structureless one, and every story can be deconstructed to reveal the scaffolding.
For three days, I'll be surrounded by people who also can't watch a film like a normal person. They will all know the obsession that comes with analysing story structure. I'm not alone in my compulsive behaviour!
